Here I am again... thinking about everything. Writing it all down. Work. School. People. Everything is the same. Bored and lonely most of the time. Ellyn moved to California. Mom is in Reno. And here I am. Stuck. At least I still have Susan around... until she goes west too. And I will still be stuck. In central Pennsylvania where there is nothing for me. I don't feel like I fit in with this crowd and this is not who I want to be. But I feel like I need to escape here before I can escape who I am becoming. I'm just trying to scrape by so I can be a better person and do what I should be doing with my life. But who knows what that is anyway. I guess the only thing I can do now is try to make real friends... you know the kind that are there when you need them and the kind that actually listen and talk so I can listen. I don't think I really have any of those kind of friends. Don't get me wrong, I have friends. They're just the kind that are there when they need something or when they want to party. When the water gets deep they jump out and leave me to drown. Good friends. So here I am. Alone.